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I'M A LOSER BABY

October 17, 2018

 

 

There are times when I just can't help but think about what an absolute loser I am. Not in the context of being "uncool", oh no, it's far more complex than that. I have quite literally lost my life, as I was living it.  Goodbye home, and the city I grew up in. You are no longer safe enough to sustain my life. So long family, and the children which gave me a reason to breathe. I have lost the right to be your mother, your protector. Farewell to the girl I thought I was, to the sanity I believed was mine. That innocence can never be retrieved. He stole so much from me. He tore my beautiful life into what felt like a million useless pieces. But as I sit here, writing this today, I realize that I would only truly be a "loser" if I didn't recognize what I do have today. What I have managed to build in this life, in spite of anything that he or anyone else may have tried to deny me. Hello to my comfortable, stable home, and my impervious new community. You provide me with inconceivable peace. Welcome, to you my new chums, and my partner in all things that life brings. May we create infinitely, and love in perpetuum. My connections with you all fill me with purpose. And most of all, greetings to you my darling girl. Shalom to the enlightened, aware, intuitive woman that you didn't know you could be. Take all of those hard learned lessons, and use them for perception, not regret.

                                           

                                       I am a victor, a vanquisher, a conquering hero.

 

 

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