Sometimes quiet people really do have a lot to say.
They’re just being careful about who they open up to…
It’s really hard to speak up, to say something, anything. I remember when I started to say it out loud – I trembled, my voice quivered, I would feel a cold sweat coming on and I literally became a different person. Someone who knew the minute it was out, that there would be shame backlashing at me, almost screaming at me why? Why would you? I felt like a neon sign with lights flashing way too bright, everybody would stop and look and I would wonder what would they think of me. Did I look different to them now that they knew my secret, my painful secret? Did I look as dirty as I felt? I wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear, to step back and pretend that I was not that person. That’s why I stayed quiet, with nothing to say. And yet it was my story, it is my story. It’s a part of me, sometimes it’s all of me and other times none of me.
So I feel it’s important, so very important to build a community, a tribe, a safe place with people willing to listen and learn and accept – me for me and the beautiful mess that I can be.